Maybe your teen can't sleep before tests. Maybe they've stopped going to things they used to love, or they get stomachaches every Sunday night. Anxiety is one of the most common struggles teens face. The National Institute of Mental Health estimates that about 1 in 3 adolescents will experience an anxiety disorder by age 18.
Some worry is a normal part of growing up. Here's how to tell the difference, and how to help in ways that actually make anxiety smaller over time.
Normal worry or something more?
Everyone feels anxious sometimes, and a little anxiety before a big game or exam is healthy. It's worth paying closer attention when worry:
- Shows up most days, for weeks at a time
- Feels out of proportion to the situation
- Leads your teen to avoid school, friends, or activities
- Comes with physical symptoms like stomachaches, headaches, or trouble sleeping
- Includes panic attacks: sudden waves of fear with a racing heart and shortness of breath
Validate first
When a teen is anxious, "you'll be fine" or "don't worry about it" can feel dismissive. Try reflecting what you hear instead: "That sounds really stressful. It makes sense you're nervous." Feeling understood lowers the temperature, and it makes your teen more likely to keep talking to you.
Be careful not to feed avoidance
This is the part that surprises many parents. When we love our kids, it's natural to help them avoid what scares them: calling the teacher for them, letting them skip the party, answering the same reassurance question for the tenth time. Psychologist Dr. Eli Lebowitz at Yale, who developed the SPACE parenting program, calls this accommodation. It brings short-term relief, but over time it can make anxiety grow.
A more helpful message combines support and confidence: "I know this is really hard, and I know you can handle it." Then help your teen take small steps toward what they fear, rather than away from it.
Try this: instead of rescuing, coach. "What's one small step you could take toward this today?" Small, repeated wins build real confidence.
Teach calming skills (and practice them when things are calm)
- Slow breathing with a longer out-breath than in-breath, which helps settle the body's alarm system
- Grounding: noticing 5 things you can see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear
- Worry time: a set 15 minutes a day to write down worries, so they don't take over the whole day
- Questioning anxious thoughts: "What's the evidence? What would I tell a friend?"
Look at the basics
Sleep, exercise, and screen time all affect anxiety. Tired teens are more anxious teens, and late-night scrolling can keep worried brains spinning. Small changes, like phones charging outside the bedroom, can make a real difference.
When to get professional help
If anxiety is getting in the way of school, friendships, or daily life, talk with your teen's doctor or a mental health professional. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is one of the most effective, well-studied approaches for anxiety in teens.
Get help right away if your teen talks about hopelessness, wanting to die, or hurting themselves. In the United States, call or text 988, or text HOME to 741741 to reach the Crisis Text Line. In an emergency, call 911.
Want a workbook your teen can actually use?
Our anxiety workbook for teens ages 12 to 17 includes coping skills, worksheets, calm-down cards, and a guide for parents.
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